Well it's official, approximately 23 years ago this minute, my mother gave birth to this author.

Astrology tells us that there is a relation to those who have been born the same day, so clearly I thought I could discover who I am by listing every great person who was born today. Well... I couldn't really find anyone except for:
Tallulah Belle Willis, 3rd daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore
Cody Newton Gifford, son of Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford
Pamela Cossey, England, model/sister of transsexual Tula
Henry Heimlich, doctor/inventor, Heimlich maneuver
and around 10 cricket players...

So I guess I cannot claim greatness this way... So I can use the scapegoat routine by questioning my parents for their poor timing on unprotected sex (couldn't you have done it the day before so I could have been born on Groundhog's Day?) Now I'm grouped with people who were born to crazy women, those related to transexuals (not there is anything wrong with that), those who discover ways to french kiss those who are suffocating on food and are unable to resist (not a group to be associated with), and cricket players, what's up with that?

Not to give up my case I decided to look at historical events, they must have altered the alignment of the stars to help make me a better person...

1998: U.S. military plane clips cable car lines in northern Italy, kills 20
1993: Cincinnati Red owner Marge Schott suspended for 1 year due to racist comments
1993: Federal trial of 4 police officers charged with civil rights violations in videotaped beating of Rodney King begins in Los Angeles California
1982: John Sharples of England finishes disco dancing 371 hours
1979: Minnesota Twins trade Rod Carew to California for 4 players
1972: U.S. performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1962: President Kennedy bans all trade with Cuba except for food and drugs
1945: Walt Disney's "3 Caballeros" released
1919: League of Nations 1st meeting (Paris)
1887: To avoid disputed national elections, Congress creates Electoral Count Act

Damn, that didn't work, well, I guess it's official, the stars have it out for all born on the day after February 2nd, the day of great rejoicing for those hoping to soon see the end of winter, but wait, if winter ends too soon (Phil did see his shadow though yesterday), it is just going to get too damn hot in Tucson, fuck that, I'll take crazy women and cricket players over that anyday, so I guess I should thank my parents (and maybe for shopping at Walmart in 1982-83 [I don't think there was one in the area at the time, but you get the gist] .)

That was certainly a divergence of talking about my 23rd birthday, hmm. Well thanks to all who have read this entire post because I spent way too much time on it. And for all those who have had their birthdays in July-January, I have completed ignored my Bebo warnings that yours were coming up, so here's a big Happy Birthday. Now only if someone would give me a wang machine pictured below...(Warning: Using the crank when inserted may be hazardous for long term health)

Not had enough yet? Well for "shits and giggles", I decided to check out my horoscope, and here is some of the BS they fed me...
"How are your past experiences influencing your life right now, for good or ill? It's time to take a long, clear-headed look at how old patterns may be inhibiting you in the present. Learn from these events."
It is supposed to be my horoscope, but asks me a question, do the stars not know? I must think hard on this as I reflect if I should devote my life to those who can read the future from the relative position of Orion's Belt to Uranus and everything inbetween.

-Trevor

Well it looks like the military has some new non-lethal tools in which to utilize in Iraq. Well all the insurgants should be scared when marines start using Long Range Acoustic Devices, Lazzer Dazzlers, or Active Denial Tecnology against them. Wondering what the hell they do? Well the first uses an "annoying" sound to persuade people to leave, the second attempts to find lasers from a sniper, and the last microwaves 1/64" under the skin. I really do hope these help our soldiers, but could we not come up with better names? Don't we have crack marketing teams to help give our soldiers a little pride in their tools they use in addition to guns and missiles (which we can always rename to Active Life Suppressors). On a side note, I hope they can do a better job to conceal their DirecTV satelite dish, that will certainly be a giveaway to terrorists to use ear plugs and don some lead suits.

In other military related news, Britain will shortly launch the HMS Daring which along with carrying lots of firepower, also will feature Ipod plugins, internet access, and 5.1 surround sound in their hotel facilities (aka Living Quarters). Well, I am shocked that this is how the British military has to recruit for their navy makes me wonder if these amenities are popping up in their American counterparts (in addition to Active Denial Technology).

-Trevor